Tuesday, January 13, 2015

YOLO

The idea that such an enormous life event can’t be embraced and ultimately celebrated is extremely narrow-minded and, well, self-righteously judgmental. The blissful beginnings are full of ritual: of parties and showered gifts, of well-wishes and familial support. Why not let the ending, if there should be an ending, be allowed the same respect: a ritual of its own, however tinged with sadness it may be?
I could page through my journals in an effort to uncover my missteps. I could pray for a different outcome. I could throw myself at my partner’s feet, only to discover his unwillingness to walk forward with me by his side. I could do all of these things, and I have done all of those things. And yet, here I am.
I’ve howled in my empty home and I’ve mourned the children we will never have. But I can’t keep at it forever, and I really hope you’d not want that for anyone. It’s far too sad.
I’d like to live. I’d like to thrive. And if that offends your beliefs, your ideas of our covenant, although you have no inkling of the complexities of our relationship, if it screams YOLO to you…may I remind you that as juvenile and hedonistic as the YOLO attitude is, the Y ultimately stands for You. Which, in this case, stands for me. 
It’s the hopeful bride’s journey. It’s the happily-exhausted-proud-parents-of-a-newborn’s journey. It’s the divorced dad’s journey. It’s my journey. 
And I’m gonna celebrate and honor every step of my way.