The Parfum

It was always a favorite question of hers, the sense question.

The neighbor boy demanding, "Which would you rather lose? Sight or sound?"

It was a given, at least around the neighborhood, that it would totally suck to be blind.

She agreed, having found a particular affinity for the dappled light on the trail floor, the impossible perfection of the Queen Anne's Lace petals, the watery aqua of her grandmother's eyes.

She longed to be an artist, and to interpret, visually, what so stirred within her heart.

A few years later, she found her sense of hearing to be just as moving.

Now beginning middle school, she visited a childhood friend. Having been given a tiny bit extra for the purchase of an appropriate souvenir, she was instead taken with a Wal-Mart music box. It featured a carousel pony, a mirrored base, and played 'Ode to Joy'. She knew better than to spend the money on that. Yet she could not resist.

What sense would you rather lose?

Later, her sense of smell pushed its way up there on the list.

Bobbing in the river, having thrown the rope, legs exhausted from skiing. That was a very specific, very comforting, sun-baked life jacket smell. The Chanel perfume her father gave that felt so grown-up: it was spicy, mysterious, woodsy, and dried down to honey and peach velvet. It was opulence for the soon to be lady. Comes on bold, only to discover she's just a kitten underneath it all.

She still found the musicality of words to be a treat, a meal, a tonic. If as a child she wanted to paint the truth, as an adult she wanted to say it. She became an actor, and then by necessity, a writer.

What sense would you most like to embrace?

This week, she found herself doing something new.

She was pondering perfumes, her usual signature scents, and how differently each one made her feel. She'd begun to look online, thinking she'd purchase something she'd worn before, something comforting.

"A french cloud of roses, spices, and vanilla" depicted a fragrance she had never heard of. She investigated further. All were extolling the virtues of this perfume, penning virtual odes to it through the years. She wanted to join them, to feel as lovely and special as they described. To wrap herself in the scent that would tell this chapter of her story.  

She hopes it will be the perfect marriage of her favorite senses. She will soon be in possession of a bottle of perfume she's never tested. The sound of the smell was enough for her to take a tiny risk and venture into the unknown. 

Perhaps she'll let her senses lead the way for a bit.